Welcome to Say Nothing, the podcast bringing you a revised serialisation of a novel I wrote and self-published a decade ago. This is the twentieth chapter of the story and has been recorded using AI and Speechify software.
You can purchase a full copy of the original novel at https://amzn.to/4gAEwnB.
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CHAPTER 20
It shimmered in the morning sun. As it gathered across the lawn and cascaded from the leaves, the pure, iridescent appearance was a reminder of the beauty to be found in the simplest of forms. For the past couple of mornings, he had sat and watched as sunlight bounced off the morning dew. Coming from the city, it still amazed him that the wonder of nature was as close as he could get to witnessing perfection.
For as long as he could remember, there had been a refusal to look back. Simply push on and evolve. Don’t stand still. Embrace change. Living and working in such an environment, it was no surprise that a simple step back, and a period of observation, would prove revelatory.
Silence. He longed to reach the point in his life when he could relax and surround himself with nothing but a few books and silence. He’d seen far more than anyone should see, done things he never should’ve done, and needed an escape. Until this all ended, he thought, there would be no escape. He was stuck here indefinitely, and he was reminded of the fact every time he opened his eyes and saw the faces of those around him.
Fixing his gaze skywards, he looked among the cloud formations for something, anything, that could distract his thoughts and occupy his mind for just a little while longer. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, putting the first of the day to his lips and lighting a match. As he inhaled, his eyes followed the trail of smoke into the air, while his lungs filled with nicotine and smoke. It felt like heaven and, surrounded by the beauty of nature before him, it brought joy to his heart.
It took only a few minutes to finish his cigarette. Reaching down beside him, he lifted the last of his coffee to his mouth and washed away the residual taste of smoke. In his opposite hand, he held a folder. It was the same folder he’d been given three weeks earlier, and the one that seldom left his side. It contained everything he needed to know, and he’d spent countless hours learning the contents by rote.
He thumbed through it once more, pausing at the photograph of a female corpse. This image had been ingrained in his memory, appearing night after night in his dreams. She lay face down, surrounded by broken glass, splintered wood and assorted debris. The back of her dress had been ripped open by the blast, and the blood poured from the open wounds that covered her arms and back. Her brown hair had been flung in every direction, settling on her cheek and forehead, but leaving her main facial features untouched. It was this unspoilt beauty, untarnished by explosives, and the slight Mona Lisa smile that rested on her lips, that he saw in his nightmares, causing him to wake in a cold sweat each night. That the damage caused to this young woman was so instantaneous, so severe, yet left part of her completely unblemished, left him bewildered.
He lit a second cigarette and shook his head. How things had come this far, he didn’t know. And for what exactly? Bodies falling in every direction, with an endless cycle of people to replace their predecessors once captured? This wasn’t living, this was merely waiting to die.
He took another deep breath of his cigarette. If this was the state of the world today, what hope was there for the future? He’d longed for the security of home, the embrace of his family. Instead, he was removed from them for weeks and months at a time. And, when he was home, he longed to be away, unable to reconcile the things he’d been a part of with playing happy families. Perhaps it was karma keeping him from having any semblance of happiness.
The cigarette burned down to his fingertips. As he stared at the image of the young woman, he was lost in a maze of confusion. He had a job to do, but not the desire. He needed to get the answers he wanted, but to what end? The sun had climbed to a position directly above his head. The morning dew was disappearing gradually. He knew he would be back in the same position again tomorrow to watch the same scenario unfurl. Inside, he longed for the simple beauty of nature to retain its wonder. His pragmatism told him he would soon tire of even this.
Closing the folder and pushing himself to his feet, he picked up his coffee cup and headed towards the door. The building was rundown but secure. Heading slowly to a state of complete disrepair, it managed to retain its uses, thanks in no small part to its size, thick walls, and network of partitioned rooms. There was nothing else within a couple of miles, and the track to get there was all but invisible to anyone not searching for it. He hated it, and tried to spend as much time outside and looking away from the structure as possible, but it was time to continue.
Nodding to the other early risers as he walked through the corridors, he put his cup down on a chair outside the room and took a long inhalation of air. He held it in his lungs for a good few seconds before emptying. It was time to work. Flicking the switch on the wall, he opened the door and stepped into the bright white light. Still handcuffed to the chair, Pete lay with his face pushed against the cold floor, a still wet towel beside him.
The Englishman gently closed the door behind him.
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